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Monday, December 20, 2010

My story

So. I have decided to begin posting my stories on this website, because I am desperate for feedback. This story here is a baby. I barely got the idea two weeks ago, and wrote the first chapter less than five days ago. It's a romance-action-adventure. Here's a brief synopsis:

Seraphine lives in Ashland, Wisconsin. It's a tiny, middle of nowhere town. Nothing happens. Ever. One day her boyfriend tries to rape her, but she's rescued by her long lost brother... who just so also happens to be a fairy. he takes her to their land, once a beautiful place full of great things, now taken over by their evil Uncle. They go on an adventure to rescue their capture parents and take the kingdom back. Along the way they meet cute pirates, talking animals, cocky mermaids, wacky leprechauns, friendly dragons, and the very intelligent and wise kraken.

And here is chapter one:

Long ago I believed in science. I thought fairytales were for children with terrible lives just trying to escape everything. I thought animals were nothing more than food. I thought all boys were amazing and good people.
I was wrong on all accounts. I learned from a very special group of people that everything is much more than it seems. Including yourself.
I also learned there is magic everywhere, even in my little corner of Ashland, Wisconsin.

“Seeeee-rraaaaa!” Vanessa screamed. She ran and hugged me, and I hugged back fiercely. Today was the start of Christmas break, which meant we’d be separated for a whole two weeks.
“I’m gonna miss you!” I told her, backing away.
“Me too.” She agreed. “I hate it when us Barnwalls are separated.” The Neon Fusion Barnwalls was our group name. (Don’t ask how we got it; it is a very, very long story.) It consisted of me, Vanessa, and my best friend Leslie. Vanessa was Neon, Leslie was fusion, and I (Seraphine) was barnwall.
“Ugh. Yeah.” I agreed. “Well, I guess I’ll see you in January.” I smiled at her and walked off.
“Hey.” My boyfriend Charlie walked up and put his arm around me. I stretched up on my toes and kissed his cheek.
“Merry early Christmas.” I told him, smiling. He smiled back.
“You too. Do you want to go hiking today?” he asked. I thought it over. My mom wouldn’t be home till seven. If we went now, I could be back my six and have dinner ready when she got home.
“Okay. Not for long though.” I told him. He nodded and led me to the parking lot, then helped me into his gorgeous Mercedes. I loved that car almost as much as I loved him.
“Where do you want to start?” he asked. I kicked off my shoes and pulled on my hiking boots I always kept in his backseat.
“Hhhm.. how about from the North West corner of my neighborhood?” I suggested. He nodded once and started driving.
When we arrived at the entrance to the woods, we got out and locked everything up. He went in first, and I followed after. The world outside faded to a mere murmur as we plunged deeper into the wilderness. Most people didn’t go hiking in this area of the woods. It was too wild, and there were no paths. But I had been going there most days since I was five, about eleven years, so I knew the place like my house. I knew where the foxes dens were, where to go for berries, and where the best places to paint were.
I stopped at a pretty pond I liked. It had an odd silver tint, and reflected everything like a perfect mirror.
Charlie looked at me. “You look nice.” He told me.
“Uh… thanks.” I said slowly. I hadn’t brushed my hair that morning, and was wearing a wrinkled shirt and some jeans that barely fit me. (My alarm didn’t go off, so I had about two minutes to get ready that morning.)
“Really. You do.” He stepped close and gently kissed me. I hesitantly kissed back, feeling and odd sensation in my stomach, almost like a burning. He put his arms around me and pulled my closer. I tried to pull away, but he wouldn’t let go. I tried to talk, but it was impossible. He molded his mouth to mine.
“Ghhhh!” I mumbled, trying to pull back. Suddenly he was taking something out of his pocket-it looked like a bandanna- and shoved me down.
“OUCH! Charlie, what the hell is your-” I was cut off as he tied the bandanna around my mouth. I knew what was going on and reacted quickly. I rolled over and tried to kick him, but he was ready. He caught my legs and in an instant had them wrapped up tightly in rope. I tried to scratch him, but it was impossible through his thick winter jacket.
No! I thought. My heart began racing, and I tried to scream.
“Scream again, and I’ll cut out your tongue.” He snarled, punching me. I fell down again and he tied up my arms. He shoved me down again and pulled down my pants. I began to shake with fear, and felt terribly sick.
I heard him unzip his pants, then there was a pressure on my backside. Just as soon as it was there, it was gone.
There was a loud “GAHH!” and a snapping sound. My bindings fell apart. Literally. The rope undid itself and the bandanna fell off. I yanked up my pants and backed up against a tree, turning to see the scene.
A boy about my age was crouched over Charlie. I know it sounds weird, but I could’ve sworn I knew him. I had never seen him in my life, yet I felt like he was an old friend or something. He had short brown hair, cut in emo-style, and lovely yellow eyes.
It finally hit me- he looked like me. My eyes are black, but everything about him was a mirror of myself. He was tiny and built like a gazelle- slim and graceful. Even the way he stood- on the edge of his toes, straight like an arrow- was like me.
And he was beautiful. So lovely and perfect that it almost hurt to look at him.
“If you ever touch her again, or even try and hurt her, I will have your head on a platter.” He spat at Charlie. His voice was even and pleseant.
“W-who are you?” Charlie asked him, standing and pulling his pants up. The boy punched him with some impressive force, and sent him flying back into the tree.
Whoa. How strong is he? I was pretty impressed by this guy.
“Your worst nightmare.” He told Charlie. He kicked him in the gut, punched him in the base of his back, and slammed his head into his knee in about one second. Then he turned to me.
“Are you okay?” he asked, stepping closer.
“Y-yes.” I whispered.
“I am sorry I was late. I got stuck.” He said, getting down on one knee. He leaned closer, studying me.
“What?” I asked. I was confused. How was he late? And where did he get stuck? Traffic?
He shook his head. “I will explain it later. When we are away from the mortals.” He jerked his head at Charlie.
“Mortals?” I sat up and leaned closer.
“Once again, I will explain later. For now, you must come with me.” He held out his hand.
“Who are you?” I asked him.
He smiled at me. “I am Conall. Your brother.”

Seraphine means "burning one."
Conall means "strong wolf."

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